I don't know if it's me or the Hims but dating (dare I say it?) is getting easier. I had such a pleasant date tonight. It was quiet, low-key, and full of art. perfect I'd say. In a very non-dramatic and sane sort of ideal kind of way.
Unless you count that one part of the night where we were discussing my amazing van--in the semi-romantic moonlight by the train tracks surrounded by brisk winter breathe--whence (can i use that word? yes? no?..) he suddenly said "I think that guy over there just put a gun in his pocket." Lord have mercy..downtown Atlanta on a Friday night. To his comment, I laughed. Out of nervousness? Not sure. Perhaps a lack of serious awarness to my personal safety? mmm-maybe. I did say possibly we should go. That counts for something, yes? no? ok..
Now, I can see how dating could bring about such commentary as "in the trenches" and "OH-it sucks girl--it sucks". And how it also can coin terms such a as 'penis-boy" and "black teeth guy". Ahhh yes-supreme akwardness with a side of "if you bring up the word penis one more time I am so out of here falic-man" This next bit was a conversation I had with one of my fellow single gal pals:
"How was your date last night?"
"He smiled and all of his teeth were black"
"ALL of them?"
"All of them yes" she said.
"What did you do?"
"I stayed and went on with the rest of the date-he was harmless!"
All his f-in teeth man, were black. I would have run screaming from the table. Perhaps I need help in the judgement and tolerance section of my character-building...but man! I mean ALL of them? black? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
psh..all of them.
and she taught me a lesson within that conversation. And the lesson was- sometimes peanuts sometimes shells. shells of rotting nasty scary grills. That smile at you from across the dinner table. on a first date via and internet dating site.
And perhaps online dating sites are in my near future. Perhaps I am blinded by naive and rookie-fogged hope..(or unjust judgement) that I won't ever have to use one. My close friends from whom I get all my dating advice use them. hmmm
No but really, the lesson; to suit up and show up and walk through the fear--EVEN WHEN--it contains horrible and nausea-inducing dentistry. or online dating. or having a conversation with the opposite sex.
and back to the bright and shining point:
I am experiencing another side of the dating life, the lighter side, the calmer side, the just plain nice. The s o b e r side. (she said with a mere 3 first dates under her passionate and wise belt-which totally matched her outfit, by the way.)
So to anyone doubting life and love...buck up mates the ships sailing in a sea full of fish, just jump on in and sink or swim. Hey-it's much better than shivering on the dock in all wet clothes freezing one's ass off, mumbling to oneself about towels and hair brushes. Gritting through the salty lonliness. and not to say there aren't warm and sunny days spent peacefully enjoying one's own company, just simply being with one's own skin, letting it slip and slide where it may.
pause...(for effect) aaaaand read on-
and lets not miss noting about those days of gleeful and extravagent joy that seems set on filling every corner of every room and bursting forth out into the streets and sidewalks with no attempt at sweeping up after itself. Dancing into a fabric of --ok I'll stop.
But seriously, these are necessary docks to progress and be able to share life with another. withoust losing ones own.
is withoust a word? it was an accident, just a typo. But I think it looks cool and also like it could actually be a word. so it stays. i bet Shakespere would like it.
And will I even be as bold to address the subject of 'what if you want a land mammal rather than a fish'?
yes, yes I will.
Instead of diving in the next time someone pats you on the shoulder and says with furrowed brow "not to worry, there are always more fish in the sea" should one hiss violently and scurry into the bush to find a kangaroo or platypus just to be rebellious? And where do dolphins stand? Am I making any sense here?
Just trying to shed a little light on as many sides of the coin here. Mood lighting. yeah.
also a side note, I am very aware that I started several sentences with an and. And I do believe that this may be, um lets seeeee, may be an improper use of grammer and that many of my former English teachers would cringe at the numerous errors in my typing and bloggy ways. I am noting this now so I will never have to again. I also have sparratic caps lock disorder.
thank you
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